How To Know If You Are Genderfluid: 15 Steps With Pictures
A genderfluid person does not have a fixed gender identity. Instead, their gender is flexible and may shift and change. People don’t need to have had specific sexual experiences to know their own sexual orientation.
Your Guide to Gender-Fluid and Non-Binary Relationships
Long before learning about gender fluidity, Hernando, who was assigned female at birth, felt different from those who identified as either male or female. Even as a kid, they say, their mother recalled that Hernando “wanted to be a boy”. As a genderfluid person, you may find that you feel comfortable with he/him, she/her, how to delete comewithyou.com profile she/him, or gender-neutral pronouns like they/them — or perhaps some or all of these during different times in your life. Lurie, who owns a group psychotherapy practice based in Los Angeles, dedicates her time to studying gender, identity, and sexuality and works with folks across various identity spectrums.
This may also be true for neutrois individuals as their gender, while independent, is neutral. Since all sexualities include some nonbinary folks by default, those attracted to “women and (woman-aligned) nonbinary people” are monosexual. “Female” and “neutrois” constitute more than one gender, but a lesbian dating people of both identities would still be a lesbian. Further, she faces no unique oppression for her attraction to her neutrois partners. Another possibility is that the changes in sexual attractions are precipitated by the physical changes that trans people experience after hormonal or surgical treatments. A broad sexual orientation category that includes people who experience romantic or sexual attraction to people of one sex or gender.
This may sound like Queer Feminism 101, but it’s worth repeating. While someone may identify as genderfluid, they can have sexual preferences just like anyone else. Some fluid folks are into other fluid folks, some have lots of sexual experience, and others don’t.
Is it the same thing as being genderqueer?
The experience of having an emotional response that results in the desire for a romantic, but not necessarily sexual, relationship or interaction with another person or oneself. Despite its growing use, some people still have negative associations with the word and don’t want to be referred to in this way. Queer, like all terms describing sexuality, should be used sensitively and respectfully.
Join an LGBTQIA+ group at your school or college, and look for meetups for LGBTQIA+ people in your area. If you want, give them space to improve their reaction. By this, I mean that they may have realized their initial reaction was wrong. Send them a message to let them know you’re willing to talk when they’ve had some time to process what you said. If you want to talk to them in person but are struggling to broach the topic, perhaps start by watching an LGBTQIA+ movie or bringing up something about an openly queer celebrity. Homophobia — and other forms of bigotry — are alive and well.
Your gender identity and the labels you choose to refer to yourself are ultimately up to you. If you feel the term ‘genderfluid’ is the one that suits you, that’s ok, and you should use it. If how you feel about yourself changes tomorrow, a month from now, or even next week, the most important thing is that you’ve chosen a gender that allows you to feel good about who you are. The adjective describes people whose enduring physical, romantic, and/or emotional attractions are to people of the same sex.
Don’t worry too much about how you appear to others or what pronouns they will use to refer to you based on how you appear; people will do what they want. Simply be yourself and express yourself as you see fit. How to Deal with Your Period as a Transgender or Nonbinary Person has information on how to handle a menstrual cycle when you’re gender diverse or trans. One of the best parts about being genderfluid is being able to tune your style and clothing to your mood.
Part of what’s driving mental health concerns in these communities is the stigma, bullying, social rejection, and a lack of support from parents and caregivers that many face. Sex refers to the physical characteristics that differentiate male, female, and intersex bodies. “Genderfluidity could mean different things for different individuals, but it really allows for flexibility with your identity,” she says. It’s possible to be who you are without having to rigidly define who you are. It’s also possible to find a community that supports you in exploring the edges of your identity or even others who are on the same journey as you. PFLAG offers a range of support and resources for LGBTQ+ people, families, and allies.
I think you’re perfectly valid to ID yourself as gay in this situation. But sexuality is mostly up to your attraction to others and since this seems to be a one off case I’d say you’re fine. It’s OK to feel unsure or overwhelmed by all of the terms we now have to describe sexual and romantic orientation, attraction, and behavior.